Podcast Episode 11 - Weakness
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Welcome to Jen’s New Song
My name is Jennifer Holmes and this is a podcast for those struggling with their mental health. Whether that means you have bipolar like I do, or you’re struggling with depression, or you’re just going through a difficult season and need some help remembering who God is, this podcast is for you.
Right now we are working our way through a series on the Psalms and looking at how the psalmists weren’t afraid to tell God exactly how they felt, but at the end of the psalm, they reminded themselves of what they knew to be true about God. Even if they didn’t feel that way at that moment, they still reminded themselves of the truth. That’s exactly what I need to do in my life today, and maybe you do too.
My goals for this podcast are for you to feel as though you’re not alone, for us to be able to talk about the hard things, and to be able to honestly cry out to God with our difficult emotions. But I don’t want us to stay there. We don’t have to live in defeat. We can begin to renew our minds through the word of God.
I am troubled; I am bowed down greatly; I go mourning all the day long.
For my loins are filled with a loathsome disease: and there is no soundness in my flesh.
I am feeble and sore broken: I have roared by reason of the disquietness of my heart.
Lord, all my desire is before thee; and my groaning is not hid from thee.
My heart panteth, my strength faileth me: as for the light of mine eyes, it also is gone from me.
When I went on a missions trip with the youth group this summer I offered to drive a vehicle to the missionaries’ house. It didn’t really matter to me that we were in a foreign country - I had driven in one before, so I was fine with that. What I didn’t know was that Dan would give me the vehicle with a trailer on it. But in true Jen fashion, I decided I could handle it. After being slightly nervous about how fast I needed to follow Dan and how many speed bumps there were, I was ok. Later on in the week, after driving quite a bit in this country, I drove the really big trailer. Don’t worry, it was just down a really long drive way. But it was time to back up. Our youth pastor asked me if I had ever backed up a trailer before. I said no, but I have an over confidence in myself so I’m sure it will be fine. I rolled down the window so he could yell instructions and we made it. It probably wasn’t pretty, but the trailer went where it was supposed to be.
I’ve lived much of life this way - overconfident. I like to think that I don’t need anybody’s help and that I can figure out anything that comes my way. I’ve often wondered if that overconfidence in myself is one of the reasons that God has allowed some of the hardships I’ve gone through.
It started with a physical illness. Where I literally had days I couldn’t get off the couch because of pain. I wondered if there would be a point in my 30s that I couldn’t walk. I learned so much from that, but God wasn’t finished with me yet.
Troubles in my marriage, a huge life change, depression, all of these things have made me say with David, My heart panteth, my strength faileth me: as for the light of mine eyes, it also is gone from me.
I think this past year, I’ve finally starting to get the point. This is where God had to get me. Where I realized the depth of my frailty. How much I needed to depend on God. Obviously I’m still overconfident in my driving ability, but other than that, I know how desperately I need God.
There are so many days I feel feeble and weak. I know what David means by the disquietness of his heart. There are days my thoughts run away with me. There are days of anxiety and a crushing feeling in my chest. There are days I’m not sure I can accomplish what I need to because of the heaviness in my body.
In this Psalm, David begins by talking about his sin. He feels this way because of that. Maybe that’s where you are today, feeling weak and feeble because of your sin. Or maybe you’re like me and you feel weak and feeble in your mind and body. Or maybe life has just knocked you down so many times, you feel your weakness in your very bones.
But here’s the truth. We are all this weak. Whether we know it or not. Whether our mind lies to us or not. Whether we have physical or mental difficulties. Every single human is in desperate need of God’s help. And it is only God’s kindness each time He allows us to be reminded of that fact. Think about that, God in His kindness reveals our weakness so that we will turn to Him for the strength we need.
David came to the end of himself and realized just how weak he was. And at first, he felt it so deeply, even in his body, that he felt hopeless. The light had even gone out of his eyes. But then he took the time to remind himself of what he knew to be true about his God.
For in thee, O Lord, do I hope: thou wilt hear, O Lord my God.
Forsake me not, O Lord: O my God, be not far from me.
Make haste to help me, O Lord my salvation.
Nothing was hopeless after all. Although he felt alone, weak, helpless, and hopeless, he knew that the Lord had not forsaken him. That God was never far from him, and he knew where to turn for help.
It is God’s kindness that brings us to the end of ourselves and shows us our weakness. When we realize that we have no where else to turn, we finally depend on the God who loves us enough to bring us to Himself.
Paul says it this way…And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.
Paul took pleasure in those things. Not because he particularly enjoyed them, but because they brought him to Christ and His strength.
I think my default will always be to try and depend on myself, but I pray that I will always, like David, remind myself of the truth. Because God is much better at being God than I ever would be.
I wanted to tell you about an upcoming event I have. This is just running October 17-24 2019, so if you’re listening later, I’m sorry! I’m hosting an online Biblical counselling summit for one week only. I had four ladies join me and share their expertise and you will not want to miss it. Topics include, what to do with a new diagnosis, how to study your bible while depressed, hope for the post-abortive woman and answering the debate of whether mental illness is only physical or only spiritual. The ladies I interviewed are full of wisdom. To sign up, go to jensnewsong.com/summit or click on the link in the show notes.
If you would like more daily encouragement, follow me on Instagram or Facebook @jensnewsong. If you hit the subscribe button on your listening app, you won’t miss an episode. And I’d love it if you’d allow me the privilege to send you a newsletter - it’s full of encouraging articles, the latest news about what’s happening here and on the blog, and it’s one of my favourite places to chat with my listeners and readers. You can sign up today at jensnewsong.com/join As always, all this information is in the show notes for you. I wrote this prayer, maybe you would like to adopt it as your own?
Dear God,
Thank you that in your kindness you always show us our weakness. But not just to leave us there. You show it to us so that we will run to you, the only source of true strength.
Amen