Why, God?

Why?

It’s a question we all ask.  And often.  There are so many things about this world, about what goes on in our lives, about pretty much any situation, that we just don’t get.  

And there will be those who will tell you that you shouldn’t question.  That even if you do question in your heart, you should certainly never question God out loud.

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Restoration

What is your view of God?

Do you see Him as someone ready to rain down his wrath on you whenever you make a mistake?  Growing up as a christian, we would often make jokes about stepping away from someone because they were about to be hit by lightning, or that you might get a stomach ache if you ate before you prayed.  Even though we were joking, those kind of thoughts can be indicative of how we view God.

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Supernatural Strength

Have you ever thought to yourself, I just can’t handle this?

We throw around the phrase, “God won’t give you more than you can handle” often in christian circles.  There’s only one problem.  I don’t buy it.  I often feel overwhelmed and lacking in wisdom and wondering how in the world I’m going to get through something.  I think God frequently gives me more than I can handle.  But that’s the point.

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God's Provision

I’ve had a battle this year with my emotions feeling like a roller coaster.  Up and down, happy and depressed, overwhelmed and carefree, loved and unloved.  If you can name one extreme to the other, I’ve probably felt it this year.  Maybe in the same day.  Its partly because of this that I’ve come to love the prophet Elijah and his story.  Or really, the story of God’s response to him.

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Tired of the Battle

Everything I’ve been thinking or feeling the last couple of weeks has been leading to one word.  Battle.  

I hate it.  I get tired.  Some days I’m tired of battling my body, going to battle for other people, but mostly, battling myself.  Battling my own thoughts and my own emotions.  Right now my body is betraying me in the regular ways of pain and not being able to feel half of my face, but also in roller coaster emotions and periods of dark depression.  

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Is God Really There?

Someone asked me a question this week - what do you do when you don’t feel like God is there?

We ask ourselves this question in many different ways.  Why are you allowing this God?  Don’t you see what is happening?  Why don’t I feel your comfort?  Why is this trial still here?  Why don’t I see your hand in what’s happening?  How could you possibly work this for good?  Why does it feel as though my prayers hit the ceiling?  

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Entering the Battle

I forget sometimes.  I get living my life, worrying about the everyday things like meal planning and finishing school and I forget that every minute of every day we are in a battle.

Every day Satan is attacking the family.  Either my family, or your family, or those around us.  When my family almost fell apart, I was acutely aware of the battle.  And I put on my armour and fought hard against the enemy.  But when things calmed down, I forgot again.  

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Small

The word small has been coming up in conversations between God and I lately.  When I spent two weeks with my kids and their stomach flu instead of editing the webinar I wanted to get out there.  When I’ve been trying to launch a book out into the world and the numbers are small.  When I’m thinking about still finding my place in this new life.  God keeps whispering small to me.  And although I have not fully grasped the whole concept of what He’s trying to tell me yet, He was very clear about one thing.  Forgiving the small.

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Hope and Grief

What if every time someone uttered our story, our pain, they immediately associated Jesus with it?  What if our reaction to pain was so hope-filled, so pure and so righteous, that people automatically knew that we must have a relationship with Jesus?  What if every time we grieved, we didn’t hide it, but showed others what its like to grieve with the hope of Heaven in view?  


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Unloveable

“Everyone knew who I was.  ‘Seven demons’ they would whisper.  ‘Mary Magdalene is possessed by seven demons.’  You have no idea how I suffered.  The torment, the rejection, the sin.  There was no one to help me.  No one who really cared.”

Those words keep running through my mind.  Mary must have felt as if she was the most unloveable person in her world.  How would she ever be loved by another human being, let alone Jesus?  

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