Interview with Jesse Archer
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Have you ever looked at a family and really wanted to be a part of it? Maybe you had a rough family growing up or you just weren’t super close and your best friend’s family seemed awesome. Or maybe it was just a part of that family that you wished for - being told you were loved, or the hugs, or the games, or the laughter.
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Today we’re going to talk about the feeling of being abandoned by God and the three questions the psalmists asks of God in Psalm 77.
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Do you ever talk to yourself?
I do it all the time. They say really smart people talk to themselves, so I’m going to go with that theory. Most of the time, I have a negative narrative going. I’m very hard on myself and if you could spend an hour in my thoughts you would quickly see that I’m harder on myself than anyone else.
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I see you standing there in the corner.
You’ve failed. Again. You know it and I know it. You gave into your flesh, into temptation. You’re living in despair. You’ve doubted God in the middle of trials. The why doesn’t really matter as much as, we have found ourselves here. Standing in the corner. In the shadows.
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I am troubled; I am bowed down greatly; I go mourning all the day long.
For my loins are filled with a loathsome disease: and there is no soundness in my flesh.
I am feeble and sore broken: I have roared by reason of the disquietness of my heart.
Lord, all my desire is before thee; and my groaning is not hid from thee.
My heart panteth, my strength faileth me: as for the light of mine eyes, it also is gone from me.
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The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
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I’ve told you before on this podcast that I hate the night - that I used to be so scared at night. But I don’t know if I’ve ever told you why.
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Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered.
Blessed is the man unto whom the Lord imputeth not iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no guile.
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How long wilt thou forget me, O Lord? for ever? how long wilt thou hide thy face from me?
How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart daily? how long shall mine enemy be exalted over me?
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In our last episode, we talked about being slandered or forsaken by people that you love. But more importantly we looked at how God had built a pavilion, a secret place for those who needed to run away to Him. Those situations definitely make me feel like running away to God. But that’s not the only time I wish for a secret pavilion.
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Have you ever stood in a checkout line and been surprised by the fact that someone you thought was perfectly human is supposedly an alien?
The world is full of misinformation. And it seems trite and maybe even funny when a magazine tells us someone is an alien, or prints a photoshopped picture. But what if the misinformation is about you?
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Every one of us, at some point in our lives will find ourselves afraid. Some of us struggle with fear more than others. Maybe today, like our psalmist, you’re afraid. And you don’t know what to do next.
My name is Jennifer Holmes. I am a christian, a wife, a mom to three beautiful children, music teacher, and lover of words, both written and spoken.
I also happen to have the label of mental illness, particularly Bipolar II.
In the summer of 2018, just before I was diagnosed, God started showing me something profound in the Psalms. Something that would change my life. He was preparing me for the diagnosis ahead.
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