Posts in Scripture
God's Provision

I’ve had a battle this year with my emotions feeling like a roller coaster.  Up and down, happy and depressed, overwhelmed and carefree, loved and unloved.  If you can name one extreme to the other, I’ve probably felt it this year.  Maybe in the same day.  Its partly because of this that I’ve come to love the prophet Elijah and his story.  Or really, the story of God’s response to him.

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Tired of the Battle

Everything I’ve been thinking or feeling the last couple of weeks has been leading to one word.  Battle.  

I hate it.  I get tired.  Some days I’m tired of battling my body, going to battle for other people, but mostly, battling myself.  Battling my own thoughts and my own emotions.  Right now my body is betraying me in the regular ways of pain and not being able to feel half of my face, but also in roller coaster emotions and periods of dark depression.  

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Is God Really There?

Someone asked me a question this week - what do you do when you don’t feel like God is there?

We ask ourselves this question in many different ways.  Why are you allowing this God?  Don’t you see what is happening?  Why don’t I feel your comfort?  Why is this trial still here?  Why don’t I see your hand in what’s happening?  How could you possibly work this for good?  Why does it feel as though my prayers hit the ceiling?  

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Small

The word small has been coming up in conversations between God and I lately.  When I spent two weeks with my kids and their stomach flu instead of editing the webinar I wanted to get out there.  When I’ve been trying to launch a book out into the world and the numbers are small.  When I’m thinking about still finding my place in this new life.  God keeps whispering small to me.  And although I have not fully grasped the whole concept of what He’s trying to tell me yet, He was very clear about one thing.  Forgiving the small.

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Unloveable

“Everyone knew who I was.  ‘Seven demons’ they would whisper.  ‘Mary Magdalene is possessed by seven demons.’  You have no idea how I suffered.  The torment, the rejection, the sin.  There was no one to help me.  No one who really cared.”

Those words keep running through my mind.  Mary must have felt as if she was the most unloveable person in her world.  How would she ever be loved by another human being, let alone Jesus?  

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This is Exactly When Boldly Was Made For

I see you standing there in the corner.  

You’ve failed.  Again.  You know it and I know it.  You gave into your flesh, into temptation.  You’re living in despair.  You’ve doubted God in the middle of trials.  The why doesn’t really matter as much as, we have found ourselves here.  Standing in the corner.  In the shadows.

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