Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. | Hebrews 13:5
Lately I’ve been tracking some of my thoughts and emotions, doing some journaling, just thinking about what I’m thinking about. It wasn’t long before I realized that one of the main lies I believe is that I am alone. I think about it way more than I thought I did.
It’s not a happy thought. Obviously. It’s dark and sad and lonely. But as I started tracking that thought, I wondered why I believed that. Why I always go back to that thought. And I found an underlying thought.
I feel alone because I feel unloved.
Before you think that I really am alone or unloved, remember that this whole series is because I needed to preach some truth to myself. I am not alone, nor unloved. I have some lovely people in my life. Some people who text me and email and even hug my neck and say that they love me.
But that doesn’t mean I always feel that way. Call it depression, or insecurity, or telling myself lies, I struggle. And maybe you do too?
No matter if we call it the fear of being alone, or a feeling of being unloved, we are created with a need to feel safe, taken care of, never alone, always loved. Yet we sabotage ourselves. I tell myself the lies, when the truth is there. I am not alone, I am loved, no matter what, always. Whether or not I feel it.
For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39
I think these verses speak to this lie perfectly. Because I want to believe in the love of God. I want to believe that no matter what, it is always there. And I think that the writer speaks to both needs when he uses the word separate. It speaks to both lies. I am alone and I am unloved. Or more accurately, I am alone because I am unloved.
But if we believe that nothing could ever separate us from the love of God, then we are never alone, because we are never unloved. I think in our minds, or my mind anyway, the two thoughts are linked. I am alone because I am unloved. If I could chose to believe that nothing could ever separate me from the love of God, then I never have to worry about being alone.
Those verses in Romans 8 are pretty conclusive. Death, life, angels, powers, height, depth, nothing. And the biggest part of that - not even me. Nothing about me can separate me from the love of God.
Even when I sin, I am not alone.
Even when I feel unlovable, I am not alone.
Even when I am not pleasant, when I’m at my worst, when I fail, when I’m sick, when I’m tired, when I can’t keep up, when I’m wrong, I am not alone. Because nothing can separate me from the love of God. Even me.
And when I truly believe that nothing I can do can make God love me less, then I can believe the promise in Hebrews that He will never leave me or forsake me.
I will never scare God away, because He loves me no matter what. And I can rest in His promise. No striving, no fear. Just resting. Because I can’t change it either way. He loves me and therefore I will never be alone.
What a beautiful truth.