I’m currently sitting on my couch. I’m wrapped in a blanket trying to warm up from walking in the rain this morning. I would start a fire but Michael still hasn’t called anyone to hook up the new wood stove. Also, did I mention that he left yesterday to drive up to Barrie to play 54 holes of golf? But at least he got stuck in traffic and its pouring rain all day so there’s that. Its that kind of dark, cold, rainy day that makes you want to do absolutely nothing. Except that today is laundry day. And my living room is filled with a new piece of furniture that I decided to buy and paint. Today, I had planned. But that would require venturing out to McNaughtons and buying the actual paint. Oh, and getting off the couch. And I borrowed a special ladder so I can paint the wall above the stairs. So I could do that too. Or pretty much a thousand things.
Emma is currently in the kitchen sitting in her poop emoji shirt. Yes, you read that right. I’m now in that stage of parenting where you have to take the children with you clothes shopping because its hard to guess what will fit them anymore. And what they will agree to wear. Oh for the days that I went to Children’s Place, bought “outfits” for the season and was done. And everyone was happy. And a pair of jeans didn’t cost $50. And no one in the house wore a shirt covered by poop emojis. I kid you not. But they are colourful, and some are wearing sunglasses, so you know mom, its the coolest shirt ever. She’s also doing some sort of weird stomach dance, but I’ll take that over the exhausted crying that happened several times this weekend. And she just looked up from her school and asked,
"Mom, is a python a snake?
After a yes reply she says,
"Why would my school have to mention snakes? Don’t they know I’m already in my fear of spiders stage? Now they have to mention snakes?"
I may have desperately not wanted to homeschool this year but at least it makes me laugh about something most days.
I had to walk in the rain today because I’m determined to loose the weight that my doctor, after several tests, told me is “just because you’re getting older, dear”.
I’m extremely offended about something right now. Its part of an long standing issue, but I’ve just had it now. And I know I’m not supposed to be offended. And I’m praying about it. But seriously, I’m reading a book about writing right now and somehow, someway, the entire chapter I read this morning was about how unspiritual it is to be offended. I just wanted to read about writing, not get a sermon. It was before 7am for Pete’s sake.
By now I hope you’ve at least had a smile at my expense. But what I really want to say is, I’m struggling right now. A lot. And usually I write about victory, and Bible verses, and all the spiritual things. But life also has negative emotions and unfinished projects and marital spats and poop emojis. And no matter if you dress it up with rainbows and sunglasses, a poop emoji is still a poop emoji.
But I really think honesty and the truth are key. I think that we should be ok with saying, I’m struggling. We won’t admit that often enough. A friend and I went for that walk in the rain this morning and I texted her and told her that it was good for my soul. Just to have someone see you and say, yup, life is hard sometimes. Not that Bible verses and encouragement and 7am sermons aren’t necessary and helpful, but sometimes you just need someone to say, me too.
So here’s my me too. Are you struggling today? Maybe we could go for a walk in that stupid rain together. And eventually I’ll give you more Bible verses and advice, but today its just a me too sister, me too.
Now if someone could please tell me how to get my daughter to stop referring to herself in the third person as “Me-sa”. I’m thinking speaking like JarJar Binks is not going to help with the whole homeschooler image…